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Send a message using the form below. I’ll do my best to respond promptly within six to ten business years. If you’d like a more prompt response, please consider a less baroque form of communication, like email.

“Baroque?” you might ask yourself. “Really? What does that even mean? Isn’t that, like, architecture?”

Quick Google search results:

Yes. Architecture, notably palace of Versailles and the work of Bernini. Music too, particularly Handel and Bach. Even painting. (Caravaggio, etc.) But if you’re willing to dive deeper and look at the actual definition, you might find something like this:

Baroque
1. Irregular in form
2. Arch. (We already covered this.)
3. Grotesque; extravagant; in corrupt taste

“Hmm,” you might tell yourself. “He’s got numbers 1 and 3… This guy isn’t as stupid as I thought, but he sure is pedantic.”

It’s a good thing I can’t read your thoughts, or my feelings would be hurt.